Counting My Spoons

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Communicating Your Needs When You Have Chronic Illness

Last Updated: August 12, 2020

Communicating Your Needs When You Have Chronic Pain

A friend in my local fibro support group asked a fairly common question about how you deal with family who just don't get that your energy level varies, they don't get that you really DO hurt and that you really DON'T have any energy. How do you communicate your needs when you have chronic illness … [Read more...]

13 Comments Filed Under: Coping, Extra Spoons, Fibro and Marriage, friendship Tagged With: asking for help, chronic fatigue, chronic illness, chronic pain, communication, family

Things to Say to Someone with Chronic Illness

Last Updated: August 12, 2020

10 things you should say to someone with chronic illness

If you love someone with chronic illness, you want to show them you care. There are plenty of lists of things that you shouldn't say, things that aren't helpful to them or to your relationship. But, more important are the things that you should say to someone with chronic illness. These are the … [Read more...]

6 Comments Filed Under: Coping, Extra Spoons, Fibro and Marriage, Fibromyalgia, friendship, relationships Tagged With: chronic illness, communication

Have you let Pain take your Identity?

Last Updated: August 11, 2020

Has pain taken your identity?

How much of your identity revolves around your illness? Around your pain? How do you describe yourself? If I asked you to describe yourself to me right now, what would you say? Would you include your pain and illness in that description? When you live with chronic pain, sometimes that pain is … [Read more...]

10 Comments Filed Under: Coping, Fibromyalgia, relationships Tagged With: acceptance, chronic pain, dealing with doctors

How to Help Your Chronically Ill Friend Feel Worse

Last Updated: August 10, 2020

How to make your chronically ill friend feel worse

Do you have a friend with chronic illness? Do you want to make them feel worse? No, I don't think you do. You probably want to make them feel better. If that's the case, you really shouldn't do the things on this list. But, there's a good chance that no matter how much you love them you've done one … [Read more...]

4 Comments Filed Under: friendship, relationships Tagged With: asking for help, chronic fatigue, chronic illness, chronic pain

Who are we to judge another’s illness?

Last Updated: August 5, 2020

Why do we waste energy comparing our struggles and judging others?

How many times have you seen a comment from someone on social media commenting on how someone else with an illness can't possibly have it as bad as they claim (or as the author of the status).  I ran across the below "migraine status" meme on Instagram. "If you're typing a status update that … [Read more...]

2 Comments Filed Under: Close to My Heart, Extra Spoons, relationships Tagged With: acceptance, support

The Importance of Asking For Help

Last Updated: July 30, 2020

The importance of asking for help

Too often we don't ask for help because we assume that others will not be there for us, or that even if they want to be there, they won't be able to help. The problem is that we'll never know if we can depend on others if we never ask. This quote came straight from my Psych book: "Social support … [Read more...]

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Close to My Heart, Coping, Fibro and Marriage, friendship, relationships Tagged With: asking for help, support

We just want a little empathy and understanding

Last Updated: July 30, 2020

There are three things those of us living with chronic pain need more than anything else - acknowledgement, empathy, and understanding. Yet, too often these are the things are lacking most.  "The worst thing about having an invisible illness is that people have a very hard time believing you … [Read more...]

4 Comments Filed Under: Fibro and Marriage, inspiration, relationships Tagged With: chronic pain

It’s ok to ask for help

Last Updated: July 21, 2020

How many times have we been told that we need to learn to ask for help, that we need to be willing to ask for help? Yet, no matter how often we hear it, the asking is still a struggle. We all struggle in different ways, with asking for different things. For some of us, we can easily ask for help … [Read more...]

2 Comments Filed Under: friendship, inspiration, relationships Tagged With: asking for help

Asking For Help is Giving a Gift

Last Updated: July 21, 2020

As difficult as it is to ask for help, most of us loved to be asked. We often get confused and think that we are handing someone a burden when we ask them for help, but really when we ask for help, we are giving them a gift.  I love to read and books often inspire me, especially non-fiction. … [Read more...]

1 Comment Filed Under: Coping, Extra Spoons, relationships Tagged With: asking for help, disability accommodations

When you realize you are the toxic person in the situation

Last Updated: June 22, 2020

When you realize you are being toxic

Have you ever thought about a situation and realized that maybe you were the one making the situation bad? That maybe in a relationship or situation you were the toxic person? Sometimes I read back through something I've written in the past and receive a punch to the gut. That's what happened as … [Read more...]

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Fibro and Marriage, friendship, relationships

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About Julie

Spoonie. Fibro Warrior. E-health advocate.

Julie Ryan was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2010 and endometriosis in 2012. She's lived with chronic migraine most of her life. In 2019 she was diagnosed with inter-cranial hypertension.

Julie has a degree in Psychology, and works as a freelance writer and marketer. Freelance work allows her to work when she can and not be tied to a desk or a schedule. Julie believes in living an inspired life despite chronic illness.

"I have chronic illness, it doesn't have me."

More about Julie

Blog title inspired by The Spoon Theory, by Christine Miserandino, an excellent explanation of what it's like to live with invisible illness. Read More…

Disclaimer:

I am not a doctor. I do not claim to be a doctor. I do not play a doctor on TV or the internet. I simply share my experiences and what has worked for me. We are all different and before you try any new treatment, exercise, supplement, etc you should talk with your doctor (the real one, not the one on TV).

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