Do you have someone in your life you'd call out as an energy vampire? Someone who seems to just suck the life and energy out of you in no time at all?Sadly, too often the worst energy vampire in your life is someone close to you, a family member or a good friend. I've had those people in my life. I … [Read more...]
Chronic Illness and Friendships
Too often chronic illness can get in the way of friendships. The people who were your friends often can't understand what you are going through. They don't understand why you are no longer as available as you used to be.
It's difficult to maintain friendships when you don't feel well. You barely have the energy to take care of your needs, let alone to worry about returning phone calls, making plans, or being there for those around you.
You will likely find your list of friends narrows. Some of this will occur naturally and some by choice as you find that certain friends eat away at your already limited energy.
However, other friends are worth keeping and will be there no matter how "flaky" you may seem. The posts you'll find in this section cover everything from how to know which friends are worth keeping, to how to deal with those who aren't.
Here's a few of the most popular articles on these topics:
Facebook seems to have everything these days. Facebook groups have largely replaced online forums as a place to go to get questions answered about most any topic. But, not all Facebook groups are created equally, especially when it comes to finding support groups. For years, I largely avoided the … [Read more...]
What's the difference in sympathy and empathy? Only someone who shares our experience can really be empathetic, because no one really "gets" chronic pain until they get it! To be empathetic they don't' have to be in the hole with us, but they do have to have been in the hole at some point. Those … [Read more...]
When you live with chronic illness, you find that advice comes at you from every direction. Everyone you speak to seems to know everything about your illness and exactly what you should do to feel better. All that advice is overwhelming... Eat this don't eat that! Exercise more! Don't … [Read more...]
What do you do when your partner is struggling with chronic illness and pushing you away? In order to understand what you need to do, you have to first understand what your partner really needs, and what they are really asking for when they push you away. The following question came via email … [Read more...]
Don't Envy the Lives of Others: you don't know the whole story We rarely see the whole picture of someone else's life. We see small parts that we envy, but if we knew the whole story we'd likely realize that there wasn't really anything to envy. Even before social media, we were … [Read more...]
What you need to know if you live with chronic illness Chronic pain and fatigue can really wear you down, whether it's fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, lupus, or something else. Living in chronic pain can tear at your soul, it can make you feel worthless, and unworthy, but you are not. As I've talked with … [Read more...]
A friend in my local fibro support group asked a fairly common question about how you deal with family who just don't get that your energy level varies, they don't get that you really DO hurt and that you really DON'T have any energy. How do you communicate your needs when you have chronic illness … [Read more...]
If you love someone with chronic illness, you want to show them you care. There are plenty of lists of things that you shouldn't say, things that aren't helpful to them or to your relationship. But, more important are the things that you should say to someone with chronic illness. These are the … [Read more...]
Do you have a friend with chronic illness? Do you want to make them feel worse? No, I don't think you do. You probably want to make them feel better. If that's the case, you really shouldn't do the things on this list. But, there's a good chance that no matter how much you love them you've done one … [Read more...]