How to Keep from Growing Bitter When You Aren’t Getting Better
guest post by Angie Glaser
On August 21, 2017, the moon, Earth, and sun lined up perfectly causing the morning sky to darken in a solar eclipse. Morning darkness is eerie. Everything is where it should be – except the sunlight.
The absence of the sun, such an immensely powerful force, touches every corner with darkness in much the same way that the absence of health touches every corner of our lives.
Like the sudden darkness of a solar eclipse, illness darkens the world around us. The Earth still spins, leaves still flutter, but everything that we see and feel is touched by chronic illness.
Unlike an eclipse, chronic illness is not fleeting. It is with us every second of every day, intent on bringing darkness, but each of us has the power to bring light.
After living with Migraine symptoms every day for four years, my world is literally and figuratively darker than it was pre-chronic Migraine.
As a young woman in my early-20s, my health was like the sun: so pervasive to my daily experience that it never occurred to me that it would not always be there. Like so many of us living with chronic illness, my life was irreparably changed by disease.
It has been four years of specialists, pills, and treatments with little improvement in my symptoms and pain, but my life is not as dark as it once was. Every day I make a choice: I choose peace over despair. I refuse to let my world grow even darker – I refuse to grow bitter.
How do you add light to dark days when you’re sick? How do you deal with pain, stigma, disappointment, grief, and depression without letting it harden you? I would be lying if I said it was simple or straightforward. But bringing more light into your daily life, investing in your own peace of mind, is absolutely worth the effort.
How to remain strong in the face of illness
Finding peace in the turbulent chronic life ultimately boils down to this: find what nourishes you and return to it as often as you can. Illness is constantly asking things of us, draining our patience and our energies. Activities that replenish you are necessary to keep your well of strength of up:
Working with a cognitive behavioral therapist, even for just a few short weeks, is immensely valuable. I personally owe a lot to my former therapist, and really value what I learned from her. [You can learn more about cognitive behavioral therapy and find a therapist here: http://www.abct.org]
If you don’t already have a network or a buddy who gets what you’re going through, please find one!
Walking, gentle yoga, or simple stretching all help our sore bodies release tension and benefit from pain-relieving endorphins.
Dealing with Chronic Migraine means a lot of playing around with diet, and a lot of potential anxiety around food. To avoid that anxiety, I take to the internet. I research and pin tons and tons of recipes that work with my quirky diets and do everything I can to make food fun.
I put together shopping lists with pretty pens and listen to audiobooks while I cook. Any little thing to make nourishing my body more rewarding is worth it!
Whether you’re coloring, gardening, listening to music, writing poems, drawing, cooking a meal, or singing in the shower, creativity is nourishment for your soul the way food is for your body.
Living with chronic illness means living with grief, and it is 100% okay to spend days in your PJ’s watching Netflix.
But after years of dealing with symptoms and fatigue, sometimes we have to make an effort to not become bitter – for our own sakes.
Spending time and energy on things that nourish you will help you live a full life, no matter what comes your way.
When you’ve been living with chronic illness for months, years, or even decades, your body seems intent on holding you back.
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Sharil says
For the past 8 years I have tried so many ways to feel better and manage chronic pain due to Fibromyalgia and other conditions. While some have helped incrementally I still feel just as bad as ever a lot of the time. And it gets to be VERY discouraging. Especially having no one in my life who understands. I used to be in a support group, but got tired of all the generic memes…just be happy, etc and some other judgmental posts. Anyways, today I thought I really do need some kind of support and found your site. Your article gave me some motivation to try a couple things I gave up on. I’m inspired by your progress and hope to join your group. Thanks!
Julie says
Sharil, I’m glad to see you’ve joined our FB group. I hope you find it helpful. Please do reach out and ask any questions you have. I can’t promise we have answers, but overall I know people try and you won’t find any judgement there.
Paul says
Some good suggestions. However, I would query the last one. How can you create when your body is sending so many pain signals to your brain that you are simply unable to concentrate? I regularly have to cut short my harp practice because I am so overwhelmed with pain that a mental fog descends, leaving me unable to focus.
Julie says
There are so many ways to create. It may be a matter of finding new ways to allow your creative mind to work when it can.