Counting My Spoons

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You are here: Home / Archives for relationships / friendship

Chronic Illness and Friendships

Too often chronic illness can get in the way of friendships. The people who were your friends often can't understand what you are going through. They don't understand why you are no longer as available as you used to be.

It's difficult to maintain friendships when you don't feel well. You barely have the energy to take care of your needs, let alone to worry about returning phone calls, making plans, or being there for those around you.

You will likely find your list of friends narrows. Some of this will occur naturally and some by choice as you find that certain friends eat away at your already limited energy.

However, other friends are worth keeping and will be there no matter how "flaky" you may seem. The posts you'll find in this section cover everything from how to know which friends are worth keeping, to how to deal with those who aren't.

Here's a few of the most popular articles on these topics:

  • Chronic illness and friendship
  • Getting past the sadness & isolation of chronic pain
  • 6 Things I focus on when dealing with energy vampires

Fibromyalgia and Loneliness (A study)

Last Updated: December 4, 2015

Loneliness and Fibromyalgia

As I was reading for my Personality Psych class I came across a section on loneliness, and how there is a correlation between loneliness and illness (simple things like colds and flus). In one study people opted to be exposed to a virus and found that those who reported stronger bonds with … [Read more...]

2 Comments Filed Under: Coping, friendship, Medical Studies, relationships Tagged With: personality, positivity

How you can help someone who has Chronic Pain and Fatigue

Last Updated: January 12, 2015

How you can help someone who is struggling with chronic pain and fatigue

If you have a spouse or loved one living with chronic pain or chronic fatigue, you may feel useless at times because you can't ease their pain, you can't make them physically feel better. Often you want to do something or at least offer advice just in hopes that it might help them feel better. … [Read more...]

2 Comments Filed Under: Extra Spoons, Fibro and Marriage, friendship, relationships, Tips and Tricks Tagged With: acceptance, asking for help, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, family, support

Holiday Traditions for the chronically ill

Last Updated: December 1, 2014

Holiday traditions for the chronically ill

Hustle and bustle, two words that instantly come to mind when you think of the holiday season. All the stress of the other 11 months of the year packed into about 5 weeks. When asked what most Fibro folks and others with chronic pain and fatigue think of when they think of the holidays happy … [Read more...]

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Coping, friendship, relationships, Tips and Tricks Tagged With: chronic illness, chronic pain, family, gifts, holidays

Sunday Inspiration: Dealing with Unsolicited Advice

Last Updated: October 26, 2014

Living with chronic illness at times feels like you are wearing a sign that reads "Please  offer unsolicited advice". Everyone seems to want to give us advice on what we are doing wrong, how we can feel better, etc, and the truth is that most of the time we want to smack them for doing it. Often … [Read more...]

8 Comments Filed Under: Close to My Heart, friendship, inspiration, relationships Tagged With: communication

6 Things the Chronically Ill Wish Healthy People Could Understand

Last Updated: October 20, 2014

  I started thinking about this topic recently, about how there are certain things about living with chronic pain that those around us will never understand. That a healthy person just can't (sometimes won't) understand. As I thought about what came to my own mind, I asked the question … [Read more...]

16 Comments Filed Under: Close to My Heart, Coping, Extra Spoons, Fibro and Marriage, Fibromyalgia, friendship, relationships Tagged With: chronic illness, chronic pain

Sunday Inspiration: Chronic Illness and Friendships

Last Updated: August 31, 2014

Chronic Marriage is one of my favorite blogs to follow. It's one of only two (that I know of) that focus on what it's like to deal with chronic illness within a marriage. Not long ago she shared a post about "Why Friendships are Important to Your Marriage". There were a couple of statements she made … [Read more...]

2 Comments Filed Under: Fibro and Marriage, friendship, inspiration, relationships

Dealing with Disappointment

Last Updated: July 27, 2014

Reading through the 3 Things the Chronically Ill Want Their Loves Ones to Know, one in particular stood out to me, because it's the one that is most true for me. " We can feel as if we’re letting you down even though you’ve repeatedly told us that we’re not." - 3 Things the Chronically Ill Want … [Read more...]

4 Comments Filed Under: Extra Spoons, friendship, inspiration Tagged With: family, sunday inspiration

11 Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Fibromyalgia

Last Updated: June 6, 2014

Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who Has Fibromyalgia Someone you know and love has Fibromyalgia or suffers from some sort of chronic pain. And, at some point you've said something to them that hurt their feelings and made them feel worse. You had no idea you did it. It's unlikely that … [Read more...]

20 Comments Filed Under: Coping, Extra Spoons, Fibro and Marriage, Fibromyalgia, friendship, relationships Tagged With: chronic illness, communication

What is a Spoonie?

Last Updated: March 31, 2014

What do spoons have to do with chronic illness?

What is a spoonie? A question that comes up pretty often on Twitter is "What is a Spoonie". We often used the hashtag #spoonie in our posts or refer to ourselves as Spoonies, and those who are new to the term don't understand why. What is the definition of a spoonie? And, where does that term … [Read more...]

7 Comments Filed Under: Extra Spoons, friendship Tagged With: chronic illness, invisible illness, spoon theory

Fibro Warrior Wednesday – DL Miller

Last Updated: October 2, 2013

This sweet guy is D.L's grand-dog. A big welcome this week to my friend, D.L. Miller. Another of the wonderful women I consider myself lucky to have met through the local support group. We are really so lucky to have such a great active support group. So, let's get to know D.L. When were … [Read more...]

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Fibro Warriors, friendship Tagged With: interviews, thyroid

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About Julie

Spoonie. Fibro Warrior. E-health advocate.

Julie Ryan was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2010 and endometriosis in 2012. She's lived with chronic migraine most of her life. In 2019 she was diagnosed with inter-cranial hypertension.

Julie has a degree in Psychology, and works as a freelance writer and marketer. Freelance work allows her to work when she can and not be tied to a desk or a schedule. Julie believes in living an inspired life despite chronic illness.

"I have chronic illness, it doesn't have me."

More about Julie

Blog title inspired by The Spoon Theory, by Christine Miserandino, an excellent explanation of what it's like to live with invisible illness. Read More…

Disclaimer:

I am not a doctor. I do not claim to be a doctor. I do not play a doctor on TV or the internet. I simply share my experiences and what has worked for me. We are all different and before you try any new treatment, exercise, supplement, etc you should talk with your doctor (the real one, not the one on TV).

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