The last few years I’ve allowed life to hold me back a bit, even though it doesn’t seem like it. I mean after all I did manage to go back and finish my degree (finally) and I started a new business. So, I’ve been really productive the last few years.
But, then there are other areas where my life has been a bit stagnant. Even so, I’m moving on.
There are a handful of things that I realize often hold me back. Because in the end, it’s the direction that you look toward that you move toward. And, I’m often guilty of looking the wrong way and steering myself into one of life’s ditches.
To avoid veering into ditches I am practicing to make these things habits in my life…. habits that can help me move forward.
Look to the future instead of looking back
I’ve made some big changes this year and it’s time to stop looking backward at the past and start moving forward.
It’s hard to not judge the potential of the future based on past experiences. After all, the past is all we know.
I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. I don’t know how a new person will treat me or how they will react to something I say. So, it’s easy to assume that the future will just bring more of the past. That a new person will react like someone else did.
And, while there’s value in learning from the past, every situation is different and we have to allow for that.
Remember that a bad moment does not have to become a bad day
It’s so easy to allow one bad moment to overshadow my whole day. Even worse when a few of those bad moments compound.
A few weeks ago I was helping out at the Farmer’s Market for my friends at Mason Dixon Bakery and it quickly became one of “those mornings”. It started when my phone hadn’t charged overnight … then I found out that my battery stick wasn’t charged.
So, I was sitting there hoping my phone would last through the market.
Then the cupcake display fell apart. Literally! (It was missing a couple of screws). That was the point at which I went into FML mode.
Thankfully, a friend swooped in and saved the day with some duct tape and a backup power supply for my phone.
Except for a few badly smooshed cupcakes everything came out ok and the day brightened. It was so easy for me, though, to allow those bad moments to turn into a bad day and they so easily could have ruined the entire day for me. Thankfully, they didn’t.
Make time for myself
No matter what else you have going on in life, you have to make time for yourself.
What I’ve realized lately is that when I don’t stop and think about what I need in that moment, I get really anxious and agitated.
If I feel like I’m constantly putting my needs aside for others I will not only be unhappy but I will resent them and hold them responsible for my unhappiness.
The truth is that they are not responsible for my choice to put their needs above my own, I am. It’s up to me to make sure I am getting what I need and that includes time for myself, time to recharge, time to relax.
Give myself credit where credit is due
Why are we so freakin’ shy about giving ourselves credit when it’s due to us?
We wait around for others to give it to us and so often they don’t. I have some amazing people in my life who are quick to remind me about the great things I’ve done, but I’m rarely one to do it for myself.
I should not be shy about sharing my wins with others. It doesn’t make me arrogant or egotistical, but it does make me feel good to remember what I can do.
Be my authentic self
There are things about me that I often don’t feel others will understand or appreciate so those things get buried. I hide them and pretend to be the person I feel they will most appreciate.
It’s not so much that it’s not me, it’s just not the most authentic version of me because there are aspects I’m not willing to address, so I bury them. It’s time to be true to myself because if I’m not open about the real me then I can’t expect others to love the real me.To avoid veering into ditches I am practicing keeping my focus forward. We move in the direction we focus and I want to keep moving forward. Click To Tweet