You don’t know.

You don’t know what it is like.

You don’t.

You don’t know what it is like to wake up every hour of every night, all night, because you can’t get comfortable.

You don’t know.

You don’t know what it is like to have to give yourself a pep talk every morning merely to get out of bed and get dressed, sometimes fighting back tears because you have told yourself that you are a warrior.

You don’t know.

You don’t know what it is like to work with a smile on your face when your legs feel like they are full of cement and every single step is just more agony.

You don’t know.

You don’t know the utter guilt that courses through the veins when you have to call in sick because that morning pep talk? It couldn’t be heard over the vomiting from the pain.

You don’t know.

You don’t know what it is like to have health professionals roll their eyes at you when you express that the current “drug cocktail” you are taking is no longer working, and you need a new plan.

You don’t know.

You don’t know the feeling of dread that comes with every emergency room visit, because you were trying to avoid the doctor and the rolling eyes… only to be met with the hidden label of “drug seeker” upon entering.

You don’t know.

You don’t know the wails and screams from your mind and soul as you can systematically see friends and love ones drift away because you couldn’t make it, or had to cancel too many times for their comfort, or you no longer resemble the “Good Time Buddy” that has faded into even your own memory.

You don’t know.

You don’t know what it feels like to have people tell you that you should “eat this” or “exercise this way” or “just push through the pain”…only knowing that none of the options work; because you have tried them all.

You don’t know.

You don’t know what it feels like to have every part of your person and life scrutinized: to be told you don’t feel well because you are too thin, or too fat; that you aren’t exercising; or you’re exercising too much; that you aren’t getting enough vitamins or you aren’t getting the right vitamins. Even clothing choices, shoes, moisturizer… you name it, you’re doing it wrong.

You don’t know.

You don’t know what it’s like to want to do things with your child or children, and knowing that there are usually 2 outcomes: you give in and do what your child wants, knowing that you will be in bed for the next 2 days, or do your best to convince your child that he best activity is watching TV shows and/or movies—because these will at least not cripple you.

You don’t know.

You don’t know how tiring the rhetorical question “How are you feeling?” gets.

You don’t know.

You don’t know how it feels to even attempt to explain something that no one can see, much less understand.

You don’t know.

You don’t know how frustrating and angering the phrase “But you don’t LOOK sick!” can be.

You don’t know.

You don’t know what it’s like to hide and cry, because most of the people in your life are tired of dealing with your “issue”.

You don’t know.

I know you know what it’s like to be sick.

You just don’t know what it’s like to never get better.