I don’t know about you but for me life gets overwhelming sometimes. There is so much you want to do and often so much you need to do that it can feel like it will never happen. At least that’s how it is for me. This summer I’ve been feeling overwhelmed a lot, between keeping up with writing, plus taking a class and working an internship so that I can finish my degree. I really over-estimated myself when I committed to my summer plans (or I really underestimated the number of hours I needed to put in on my internship).
These days I often find myself looking at my to-do list and thinking that there’s no way I can get it all done. I mean I can eventually, but certainly not today. Then I ask myself why did I put so much on my plate and do I really need to eat it all? No, I don’t. I’m the one who made this to-do list so I can unmake it and perhaps that’s what I should do.
I think that most of the time we feel overwhelmed it’s because we feel out of control, but the truth is that we do have control. We can choose what we are going to do, and what we are going to focus on. And, sometimes that might mean starting over, wiping the slate (or to-do list) clean and starting from scratch.
Life can get overwhelming and sometimes you just really need to start over. Share on X
I’m realizing that there are three basics of pacing that I’ve not been following lately, and I need to get back on track. Here’s my plan of attack:
Start Over. For me that means literally deleting everything I can from my daily task list and then asking myself what do I really need to do each day. Often my task list is full of blog post ideas, articles I want to read, and things I want to research that get pushed aside day after day. If I am continuing to push them to the next day it’s likely they don’t really need to get done at all. As a writer it’s good for me to keep a running list of topics but that doesn’t mean they need to be on my daily task list, they just need to be accessible.
Having my to-do list filled with things that don’t really NEED to get done just leaves me feeling overwhelmed and guilty for not completing the task.
Say no. I used to be pretty good at saying no, but as I’ve felt better I’ve started saying yes again –a little too often. This adds tasks to my to-do list that need to get done because I’ve promised someone else. If I’d just said no in the first place there would be one less task to worry about. It’s ok to say yes occasionally, but I need to weigh each new task against what I’m already doing. I also need to be careful not to say yes to more than one thing at a time. Until I know how the latest task is going to affect my energy, I can’t say yes to another.
I also need to remember that there should be no guilt attached to saying no and doing what’s best for me and my body.
Minimize. I was good at this for a while, too. I’d keep my task list limited to no more than three projects each day. There might be more on my list just because of small tasks that I try to do daily, but I would limit the larger projects. This allowed me to focus my energy better and also to reserve it so that I didn’t find myself on the fatigue roller coaster.
It’s ok to minimize and prioritize my energy use. It doesn’t all have to get done today.
It’s ok to minimize and prioritize my energy use. It doesn’t all have to get done today. Share on XNow that I’ve written it all out it’s time for me to take my own advice and go clean up my task list. All those article ideas can get moved to a file somewhere. I may need to make a call or two and resign from a couple of commitments, but most of all I know I need to minimize and get back on track with proper pacing.
Related Posts:
- What To Do When I’m Feeling Overwhelmed and Stuck
- Mindfulness Is Not a Cure
- My past will not change, but I control my future
- 8 Songs to calm you when everything seems out of control
Ginger says
This post reminded me of good advice from a woman lawyer. I was in law school, 32 years old, with 3 children. As a group of fellow women law students discussed our guilt at not being able to do it all, she said, “If you can’t meet your standards, lower your standards.” She meant keep the essentials and leave the unnecessary behind. She later became a judge.
Since then, I have become disabled. A friend, also a lawyer who is disabled, and I decided that if we could have 3 appliances turned on that would be a good day’s work. On hard days that might mean: the coffee pot and we had to let the rest go. On better days: one load in the washing machine, one load in the dryer, and the coffee pot (the dishwasher if we really had some energy).
The summary of my tale is that deleting tasks from your “to do list” won’t hurt you. You will be happier, you will feel better physically, and you will be able to do the essentials like loving and being with family and friends.
Julie says
I like how the coffeepot is always priority. I know that feeling.
Julie says
Your posts are always so timely. I feel swamped and overwhelmed by things I ‘need to do’ now that Spring is here (Australia). But I absolutely have to divide big tasks into a grid of small doable daily tasks and appreciate the outcome, rather than looking at it, sighing and going back inside discouraged and feeling sorry for myself.
Julie says
how do you eat an elephant? Well, I don’t eat elephants but if I did, it’d be in very small bites 🙂
Fiona Wood says
“I also need to remember that there should be no guilt attached to saying no and doing what’s best for me and my body.”
This is so important. A friend recently got very upset with me for cancelling some time with her. I felt so guilty. I wrote her a long email explaining how this illness affects me and that I don’t like cancelling, but I’m not sure she quite got it! She can be quite dramatic and as we know, these types of people are very draining on our energy. So, I’ve decided that if she becomes upset again I’m not running after her apologising because as you said, I need to do what’s best for me and my body!
Great article and I hope you’re able to slow down a bit.
Julie says
Good point on running after people and spending time explaining. It only drains us and overwhelms us even more. And in the case of the drama people it gives them the attention they crave and just makes them think that they can keep acting that way.
ChronicMom says
I love your idea to minimize. While I’m getting better at saying no, I typically still have a long list of tasks to do every day which can easily become overwhelming. I’m sure I would be less overwhelmed if I weeding things down to only a couple major tasks.
Donna says
Great post Julie and one I think we can all relate to. Sometimes we need the reminder to take a step back and slow down. Often it’s something that happens after a period of time where we are feeling better– or at least that’s my experience. You start to naturally do more and say yes more often but before you know it you feel overwhelmed and have taken on too much. It sucks but such is life with chronic illness I guess! I hope you start to feel better for letting up that gas pedal. Take care!
Julie says
Truth. I’m feeling that way right now and I’m trying to figure out what I can take a step back from, or if certain commitments will expire before things get too stressful.