4 things we must set aside so that we can move forward

When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and living with constant uncontrollable pain, I got stuck. It felt impossible to move forward with my life. I put everything on hold because all I could do was focus on the pain. Looking back I realize that there were things keeping me stuck, but it wasn’t the pain. I was holding onto things and until I was willing to set these things aside I couldn’t move forward.

 4 things I had to let go of before I could move forward

1. Who I used to be – I used to be someone who felt like they could do anything. I could take on the world. I had no limits to my abilities. Go to school full time, run my own business, spend time with friends, and still have time for my husband and home? Sure! I could do all that.

But, maybe I couldn’t, and maybe fibromyalgia was my body’s way of letting me know that I was trying to do way too much.

I have learned to accept that I have limits an that I can’t do it all. But, I can do enough. I just have to make sure I’m doing it within my limits. I was able to return to school and finish my degree, by taking classes part time. I was still able to work, but I had to limit the hours that I worked and who I chose to take on as clients. I can still spend time with friends, but I may need to limit how often and how long I stay.

2. Stressing out and worrying about things – I used to be really bad about stressing out over little things that someone would say, and worrying about what might happen if… I still do that some, but I’ve learned that I can’t let myself get caught up in that negative focus.

I’ve got to focus on the positive and that means not worrying about what others think of me. So what if they have a negative thought towards me, but chances are that they aren’t thinking about me at all, because they are too worried about their own stuff. 

Through meditation I’ve learned to keep calm and avoid stressing out over little things, or getting stuck in a thought loop. When I find myself overly focused on something negative or stressing out, I meditate in an effort to understand what’s really behind those thoughts.

3. Failing to be grateful for the small things – I’m not an ungrateful person by nature, but I think when you are so busy with life it’s easy to lose focus and to miss many of the small things that surround us, the beauty in life.

I was too busy moving to look down and notice a beautiful flower or a gorgeous sunset. I mean we have sunsets every day so what’s so special about those, right? Not really. It’s amazing how pretty they can be when we notice them. The same goes for the small things others do for us, the small attentions they pay, the smiles they give.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our negative focus that we don’t notice the positivity of others. When we ignore someone else’s positivity we run a high risk of bringing them down with us.

4. Worrying about what others think – I used to walk away from almost every interaction wondering what I could have done differently, wondering what impression the other person gad of me. I analyzed every little thing I did and anything that was the least bit negative I worried about how it affected the way the other person saw me.

I wasted so much time and energy and created so much negativity this way. And, the truth is that it didn’t really matter and that they likely didn’t even notice the things I did or said that I was so worried about.

Did changing these patterns heal me? No. But, they did go a long way to helping me recover. I had to remove a lot of negativity from my life in order to finally focus on what was necessary and on improving me.. I had to remove this negativity to get out of the depression pit that I’d become buried in, and I had to get out of that pit before I could take steps to change my lifestyle so that I could improve my physical health and begin to recover.

Related Posts:

• 5 Habits to help me move forward
• 6 things that I had to give up in order to move forward
• 9 reasons your health may not be improving
• What To Do When I’m Feeling Overwhelmed and Stuck