Fibro Warrior Tara Murphy

This week’s Fibro Warrior is Tara Murphy from New Jersey, USA. She’s a single mom of two girl, who works part-time promoting and creating events for and with business owners. She loves cooking and baking with her girls, taking long walks at the Jersey Shore and around New York City. She was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2003, at the age of 29, just five months after the birth of her first child.

What lead up to your diagnosis?
I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue the year before. I had a good baby that slept thru the night, but I was exhausted. I had joint pain and some muscle aches, so I went to my primary Dr. He referred me to a Rheumatologist, and she diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia and Sjogren’s syndrome.

What was your life like when you were diagnosed?
I was a single mom of an infant, and caring for my mom during her battle with cancer. I wasn’t working at the time.

How did your family initially handle your illness?
My mom was supportive, she had heard of fibromyalgia. Mom told me to eat better, drink a lot of water and take my daughter for walks everyday. Mom was into vitamins over drugs, and we both took supplements to help symptoms.

What do you feel is the most challenging aspect of Fibro?

• One day you feel pretty good, and try to do a lot, so you end up exhausting yourself. I pay for it because in the days prior all I did were minor tasks.
• Recovering from a big day after a flare requires resting the whole day.
• I feel like I have to avoid doing anything while my girls are in school, so I can make dinner, help with homework, do laundry, and spend quality time with them when they come home.

Do you have any other co-existing conditions? If so, what are they and how do they impact your Fibromyalgia?
Yes, I diagnosed with Sjogren’s syndrome at same time as Fibro. I also have Depression/anxiety, ibs, pancreatitis, herniated disks and bulging disks in neck and lower back. The back/neck pain was just diagnosed in 2014, as well as Pancreatitis. It’s a struggle to take meds, eat right, and exercise enough to be comfortable, but not hurt myself. Everything I ingest –food or meds — could affect my pain level, as in indigestion or pain.

 What (if anything) have you found/ done that has improved your symptoms?
Eating right, I’m more of a protein person. I don’t feel right in the morning after taking my meds with out a well-balanced breakfast. Drinking lots of water, trying to keep moving so my joints and muscles don’t get too stiff, and hurt. Thinking positively, even on bad days.

How open are you with friends & family about your illness & symptoms?
I’m very open, it’s part of me, like my Irish heritage, or being a Mom. Some of my friends have Fibro, or other auto-immune diseases.We support each other.

What is the best advice you’ve received about Fibromyalgia?
Stay active, even on bad days. Keep moving, stretch in bed, or on the couch, or you’ll feel worse.

What was the worst advice that you followed?
Due to my IBS and pancreatitis I can’t do fiber overload, I learned the hard way with green smoothies. I can do whole grains or green leafy veggies, but not both at once. I need to do what works for me. We are all individual like a snowflake. My body can take healthy fats, protein, and some carbs. I don’t limit myself, but I’ve found portion control of everything is better for me.

I know me best.

What is your favorite way to cope with your life as a spoonie?
Reading blogs, pages like Counting my spoons or But You Don’t Look Sick. I’m in a few online support groups. I pray, meditate, try to stay positive as much as possible.

What is it that inspires you to keep going, despite your illness?
My daughters are my biggest inspiration. I try to work mainly from home so I can be close to their schools. At home I’m most comfortable, if I need to rest, I’m able to.

What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself since your diagnosis?
I am much stronger emotionally than I ever believed.

What is the most important piece of advice you would give to someone newly diagnosed with Fibro ?
Read up on the disease online and in books and look for support pages. Talk to others you know about the disease. I love helping people and because I’ve been vocal over the years about Fibromyalgia; a lot of friends ask my advice or recommendations on doctors, diets, med info. We are all in this together, we are alike in many ways, and different in others. Knowledge is power.

Is there anything else you’d like the readers to know?
No matter what you’ve been diagnosed with, be it a chronic illness, autoimmune disease, whatever, you are the one that knows you best. If you need to say no to things you think would exhaust you –last-minute plans etc.– be okay with your No. I’ve said yes a lot in my life when I should have said no. You’re the only one that knows your limits, say yes to yourself more often. Everyday do something for you. Live your life in a positive way. We all have bad days, but I’m grateful for the lessons I learned thru struggles; struggles have made me appreciate the good days.

You can get to know Tara and contact her through Facebook.