The Importance of Being Vulnerable

Vulnerability is difficult. Too often we associate vulnerability with weakness. Even looking at the thesaurus for synonyms that’s what we find, weakness, exposed, sitting duck, naked, defenseless. But, what we don’t realize is that it’s the avoiding vulnerability that really makes us weak. Vulnerability is important.

“When we numb vulnerability and fear and shame of not being good enough, we by default numb joy. We can not selectively just numb the dark emotions.” – Brene Brown

When we love, we become vulnerable. When we are ill, we become vulnerable. And, when we love while being ill, we are at our most vulnerable.

We are already hurting, we feel guilty for what we are not doing, we feel guilty for our own pain that we have no control over, and it is during that time that we are the most vulnerable to the smallest words from someone we love the most.

There is a saying that you can’t be hurt by someone you don’t care about. I’m not so sure, but I do know that it is the people you care about the most who can hurt you the most.

A simple comment from your spouse about something that you are already feeling bad about can have you in tears and an emotional wreck for days. I know it can for me. So, we put up walls in hopes that the small comments will hurt less, but they won’t.

We go out of our way to avoid being vulnerable, to avoid being hurt. Yet, there is a time when being vulnerable is a good thing.

Perhaps, we are looking at things the wrong way. Perhaps, instead of hiding how we feel and what we are thinking to avoid getting hurt, we should be more honest.

Honesty creates vulnerability, but it also allows those around us to better understand how we feel so that they can better help us, and better avoid the tiny jabs that hurt so much. More often than not, they have no idea those little comments hurt so much, and they never will until we tell them.

We can’t just tell them that the jabs hurt, we have to tell them why. But, sometimes, we may not even know why they hurt. In those times, we have to allow ourselves to be even more vulnerable – to ourselves.

We have to open up and look inside ourselves, and access some hurts that we may want to forget. But, accessing those hurts, and understanding them, and sharing them with the people we love most, creates a better relationship.

Too often those of us suffering from the chronic pain of Fibromyalgia, or other issues, feel that we must protect ourselves by being dishonest with those closest to us. We hide how bad we feel. We avoid talking about our latest symptoms, because we don’t want to be a burden or we feel that they don’t want to hear about it.

It isn’t until we get fed up and make some sort of sarcastic comment about how they should just understand that they even know that something is wrong. If we can open ourselves up,  learn the importance of being vulnerable, and share with them what is going on with us, they can better help us meet our needs.

Here is a great video that explains vulnerability and the price of refusing to be vulnerable. This should speak volumes to those of us with Fibro. I know it really hit home for me.

“When we numb vulnerability and fear and shame of not being good enough, we by default numb joy. We can not selectively just numb the dark emotions.” – Brene Brown

I’d love for you to share your thoughts on being vulnerable with those you love. Share them in the comments section below.

Related Posts:

• Why is it So Hard to Ask For Help?
• At the Risk of Being Vulnerable
• Why is it So Hard to Ask For Help?
• Sunday Inspiration: Be True To Yourself