I found Terri through her blog, Seeking the Gifts of Fibromyalgia, which I found to be extremely uplifting and positive. She has become one of my major inspirations of late.
Terri Naroian is a wife and mother of triplets. She lives in Haverhill, MA and works as a dynamic Speaker, Leader and Coach to Cultural Creatives. Her long-standing entrepreneurial spirit has sparked the creation of 5 successful businesses. Professionally, Terri has expanded her education to reflect her diverse interests in holistic well being to include an array of trainings from Intensive Leadership to Reiki to Yoga and is currently enrolled in a Strategic Interventionist program. Terri is a master at Strategic Planning and Organizational Engineering and utilizes her captivating presence and openness to inspire, encourage and activate. Several of Terri’s accomplishments include her life-changing workshop, “Exploring Your Infinite Potential”; 2007 Producer of the Year award from Haverhill Community Television; “Woman of the Year, 2009” nomination through the Haverhill YWCA; and top Sales Producer as a Client Relations Manager.
Terri Naroian is a wife and mother of triplets. She lives in Haverhill, MA and works as a dynamic Speaker, Leader and Coach to Cultural Creatives. Her long-standing entrepreneurial spirit has sparked the creation of 5 successful businesses. Professionally, Terri has expanded her education to reflect her diverse interests in holistic well being to include an array of trainings from Intensive Leadership to Reiki to Yoga and is currently enrolled in a Strategic Interventionist program. Terri is a master at Strategic Planning and Organizational Engineering and utilizes her captivating presence and openness to inspire, encourage and activate. Several of Terri’s accomplishments include her life-changing workshop, “Exploring Your Infinite Potential”; 2007 Producer of the Year award from Haverhill Community Television; “Woman of the Year, 2009” nomination through the Haverhill YWCA; and top Sales Producer as a Client Relations Manager.
When were you diagnosed and how old were you at the time?
I was diagnosed in 2002. I was 34 years old. For many years, I had symptoms that were odd but didn’t get in the way of my quality of life so I never pursued answers. I was extremely sensitive to temperature change, I’ve always had fatigue and ever since I was a toddler, I remember clothing hurting.
What symptoms and issues lead up to your diagnosis?
There was one thing that happened that sent me to see my doctor. I was at work, my feet were very cold and my fingers were purple. My arm felt strange and I didn’t think much about it but about an hour later, my arm went completely numb. Prior to that scary experience, I had severe pain in my shoulders and I was sleep deprived. I chalked these two things up to being a single parent of triplets. They were just 2 years old and I was holding at least one, all the time. I thought that the pain, in my shoulders, was from lifting them all the time and the exhaustion was from being ‘alert’ through the night…as Mom’s are.
There were a couple of times in 2002 when while driving my babies home after day care, a migraine hit really hard. During rush hour, on the freeway, I had to pull over because I couldn’t see the road. We sat for 40 minutes or so, before I could get us home.
About how many doctors did you have to see before you were diagnosed?
My Mom had been diagnosed years before I was and I was able to see the similarities in symptoms. On many occasions, I said to my Primary Care Doctor that I thought it may be Fibromyalgia and he said, “Don’t even say that. That isn’t even a true illness.” Because of my health insurance, I had few choices for doctors and pursued specialists to try to get some help and support. I saw about three doctors and it was the Neurologist, who I went to about the migraines, who said to me, “Have you ever heard of Fibromyalgia?” I wanted to kiss the man! Not because I was finally being diagnosed with something the medical profession, for the most part, doesn’t recognize or that there’s no good treatments available, but because I had a glimmer of support. Although this doctor diagnosed me, he said he does not treat Fibromyalgia. It took about 7 more years to find a Rheumatologist who advertised that she treated Fibromyalgia. I went to see her when I got desperate. I was unable to work, and had bouts of losing the ability to walk.
Were you working at the time?
I was working at a fitness center at the time of diagnosis and found that yoga really helped my achy muscles. I was so inspired by the possibility of managing my fibro with natural methods, I trained to become a yoga instructor. Two years later I owned my own studio. Unfortunately, the stress of a business, single parenting and money created more flares and I was in bed more than I was working.
Were you married at the time of your diagnosis? Kids?
I wasn’t married during the time of diagnosis. I had been a single Mom of triplets for two years prior to diagnosis. I began dating after my diagnosis, but the Fibro wasn’t an interruption in my life at that time. I met my, now, husband the year I opened my yoga studio. It was a good, positive year.
How did your family initially handle your illness?
At the time of my diagnosis, my children and I were living with some very generous friends who opened their home to us. These two friends saw my inability to keep up with chores as lazy and someone who didn’t care about the shared living environment. I had a sense that they didn’t believe it was a physical illness. They looked at it as a mental illness. There were many evenings when I was expected to wash the dishes but couldn’t stand next to the sink or lift a plate to wash. It became a very stressful living situation. I don’t think my children understood what was going on. They were only two and I was able to still meet their needs.
How has your family/ work situation changed since Fibromyalgia entered your life?
Between 2009 and 2012, my symptoms got much worse. My Rheumatologist tried me on over 15 different prescriptions for Fibromyalgia, muscle relaxers, depression and arthritis. I was in the ER with severe side effects due to the prescriptions, every other month. Eventually, I said, “That’s enough!” I felt I needed to find another way to find relief and heal. This was a very difficult time for my family. My children were older and very concerned about my health. One day, I was walking to the bathroom and I fainted due to pain. All three of my kids were home and my husband was out. I know that they are deeply affected by the unknowns of my illness.
My first year of marriage was awful. There are some medical things a newly married couple shouldn’t have to see or deal with. I know he’s a keeper because of how he has stood by my side through all of it. He has taught me what, “We’re in this together” means.
I’ve been unable to work for three years and this past year I began to receive disability.
What new ways have you found to be productive within your limits?
The only way I’ve found to be productive with my different abilities is to listen closely to my body. When I feel a bit tired I go to bed. I don’t wait until I’m exhausted because between tired and exhausted is borrowing energy from an organ or an important system in the body. Tired means the stores of energy must be rejuvenated. I’ve also learned what times of day are generally my most energetic and I utilize the most of that time. The morning is when I get the most done. During the evening, when I write my blog, it’s a relaxing time for me. I don’t feel as though I’m using up energy, it feels the opposite. When I’m engaged in things that bring me joy and I don’t ‘have’ to do them, I’m energized. It’s like the conversation with a friend that goes on for hours or days. There is more life birthing from that experience than if it were something you were ‘supposed’ to do.
How hard has it been to go from someone with such an entrepreneurial spirit to having to accept that you can no longer work?
Really, really….really hard! Like many, I was taught that my identity was directly linked to how much money I contributed to my family, community and beyond. When I saw myself in a place where I was unable to contribute financially, I fell into a deep depression. As an entrepreneur, I am very creative as well as very good at organizational structure. When I got very sick, my mind was still pumping out ideas and I was inspired to begin projects. Each time I followed through with this inspiration, I would land in bed again, unable to finish the project. I began to label myself as unreliable, unable to make commitments and unlikable because of these two things. I hit rock bottom and with some support, began to redefine what is most important. I had to shed all of what I was taught about how important it is to be an active participant in the economy. I went through a huge self-realization and came to the conclusion that my ideas are good and my timeline is wonderful and that I’m contributing in ways that may not get a nod of approval by government of people who buy into the economic non-sense we’re fed, but that’s ok. I (we) have our own minds, inspirations and gifts. Sometimes these gifts don’t, outwardly look as though they are contributing to the whole, but I believe in the ripple effect. My contribution of free coaching to someone who doesn’t have the funds to receive high end coaching will positively impact that person and they may be inspired to pay it forward…and so on. Lack of funds is not a reflection of our worth!!! I may have said that before…but if so, it needs to be stated over and over again.
What is a Strategic Interventionist program.?
A Strategic Interventionist is basically a coach educated by the Robbins-Madanes Training Program (as in Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes). I began the program about two years ago, and half way through, I got very sick, lost my income and had to put the training on hold. I consider myself still a part of the program because my intention is to complete the training.
What type of coaching do you do?
I don’t have one specific type of coaching. I do life, spiritual, basic finance, life change, relationships, psychic, etc. coaching. Through being coached and my official training at Robbins-Madanes, I have strategic techniques to help my clients shift. For the most part, my style is client directed. I assess where a client is and where they’ve expressed where they want to go and we cooperatively put together a plan of action. It’s less work and more fun-living.
What do you feel is the most challenging aspect of Fibro?
The most challenging aspect, for me, is when I’m the Mom who is in bed all the time. I want to be there for my children. Everything I have to offer must be prefaced by, “As long as I’m feeling okay”. I still get stuck on the horrible label of ‘selfish’. I have a good understanding of self-care versus selfishness, but when it comes to my children, I find it hard to tell them that I can’t be there for them. On the other side, they are incredibly independent and confident kids. I wonder if some of those traits have emerged because they had to take on a little more than the average kid. I can handle knowing that they’ve become stronger human being because of adversity, especially since I did nothing wrong or intentionally to create the adversity. It all happened the way it did and I did everything in my power to offer them opportunities, even from bed.
Do you have any other co-existing conditions? If so, what are they and how do they impact your Fibromyalgia?
Wow…you want a list? Okay. IBS- my bowels have completely stopped doing their job and I suspect it’s because of the inflammation in my body. Pituitary adenoma, pancreatic cyst, arthritis, goiter, Renaud’s, TMJ, restless legs, insomnia, PTSD, depression, anxiety, hip bursitis. Oh, and a pain in the @$$ which I think is a direct result of the Fibro. There may be more, but today, that’s all I can remember. Since everything is connected in the body, we can boil it down to, all of them impact Fibro because they cause pain and stress and those are the two biggest triggers of Fibro.
What (if anything) have you found/ done that has improved your symptoms?
I love this question because it shows that everyone with the diagnosis of Fibro has a unique answer. Here are my top five.
1. Exercise. When I’m in pain, it’s a joggle (cross between a jog and a wobble)
2. Healthy food (non-GMO, organic, natural)
3. Mindfulness / at least 10 minutes of spiritual food
4. Manage stress
5. Extreme self-care
What is the best advice you’ve received regarding Fibromyalgia?
Well, it wasn’t exactly advice because my Mom is great at role modeling as opposed to telling people what to do. She persists in finding answers. My mother, after 20 or so years has not given up or given in to her fibromyalgia. I see many people treat it like a death sentence and they hunker down in their home. Life passes them by. There is always hope!
What was the worst advice that you followed?
When I was seeing the Rheumatologist, I knew that my body didn’t do well with prescription meds and I took them anyway. Once I said, “no more” the Rheumatologist told me that her job is to prescribe and she could do nothing more for me. I felt it was almost two years wasted on my journey to sustainable health.
What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself since your diagnosis?
I’ve learned that I am not defined by the amount of money I make or the level of pain I’m in or whether or not I can contribute financially to my spiritual center. I’m defined by my essence and that never changes. The law of attraction, in terms of money, is not a measure of worth. I contribute with my heart and soul, through my writing and coaching. I contribute to the whole through conscious evolution. I choose to look at the tough stuff because I know that avoiding it doesn’t make it go away, it gives it strength. The tuff stuff needs to be faced and released not strengthened.
Well, I guess the short answer to the question would be, I learned who I really am. I’m love and I’m human with human ups and downs along the way.
[Tweet “I’m not defined by the amount of money I make or my pain level… @TerriBessette”]
What inspired you to start blogging about your journey?
My brother, Keith, unknowingly inspired me to start a blog. He was going through a rough patch and decided to channel his energy into an interest he has. He told me that he was going to start a blog to share his findings around new technology. I watched Keith begin this process and watched how it helped him focus on something good during a not-so-good period of life. I don’t think he has the blog any longer, but if not, it served its purpose.
I write because I dislike anything behind the curtain. The Wizard of Oz was hiding the truth. I must be authentic, vulnerable and share my truth. Maybe with my lead, others will have the courage to do the same.
Thank you Terri, for a wonderful interview. Be sure to check out Terri’s blog and coaching site. You can also contact her via Twitter, Facebook , as well as find her on LinkedIn and G+.
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