Dear Fibromyalgia

The book A Return to Love talks about the idea of writing a letter to your illness and letting go of all the negative thoughts you have towards it, the “why are you doing this to me” thoughts.

When I read this I thought it was interesting and I thought I’d write a letter to Fibromyalgia.

Dear Fibromyalgia,

We’ve known each other for a while now and I’d love to say you’ve been there for me, but the truth is you’re not a very good friend. You’ve pushed me in a lot of ways, and a couple of times you’ve almost pushed me over the edge.

You suck. Plain and simple. You’ve ruined a lot of lives and at times I’ve felt you ruined mine.

You’ve brought me to the point where I considered suicide as an option to escape the pain you cause, but I realized that the pain I’d leave behind for others would be worse than the pain you cause me, so I chose to fight back.

You and I have been fighting for years now. Some days it’s a draw. But, for the most part, I still feel like I’m winning. So, I’m not going anywhere and I’m not giving up.

What I realize as I look back over our years together is that you’ve taught me a lot, and I actually have a lot to thank you for.

Thanks to you have more empathy for those who are disabled. I no longer look at an overweight person in an electric cart and assume they are just lazy. I know there are many real things that may have lead to their state, and that they may be suffering quite a lot and unable to reverse their situation.

Thanks to you I am a better person both mentally and even physically. Thanks to you I am stronger.

Thanks to you I have the ability to tolerate pain that would bring many men to their knees in tears, and I can do it with a smile. Thanks to you I am a much better actress.

Thanks to you I have a new drive to live life to the fullest and to not take good days for granted.

Thanks to you I have become an advocate not just for my own health but for the health of others.

Thanks to you I am no longer ignorant to the effects the environment has on my body. Nor, to what I can do to compensate for those effects.

Thanks to you I have learned that health is about much more than how much you work out or what you eat. Thanks to you I am making better choices with what I put in my body. Despite all my health issues I am a much healthier person and behave in healthier ways.

Thanks to you I make better choices about who I choose to spend my time with and how I spend that time. I know who my real friends are, and I understand the role that the people I surround myself with play in my mental and physical well-being.

While I don’t appreciate the pain and limitations that you’ve brought to my life, and in general I really don’t appreciate that you are a part of my life. I can appreciate that out of every negative thing life brings, there are good things as well. And, I appreciate that you’ve made me more cognizant of the good as well as the bad.

Thanks to you I’m no longer just going through the motions in life. I’m choosing to live it.

So Fibromyalgia, we will continue this dance for the rest of my life. I will fight with you, you will bring me down. But, I will get back up again. I will fight you and I will win, and along the way you will continue to teach me that I have much to be thankful for.

Julie

Related Posts: 

• The fibromyalgia treatments that have helped me most
• Chronic illness does not mean you are a failure
• Are you spending too much time with the wrong people?
• How I reclaimed my life from chronic illness

Have you written a letter to your illness? What did it say? Share your thoughts in the comments below.