It’s time to focus on your own story

I received an email from a friend recently about how she’d run across a great success story on Facebook. A woman who had been bed-bound from Fibro had found ways to improve her health (including exercise) and was ready to run a 5k. You go girl (the only time I’m running is if something is chasing me)! My friend was commenting on the huge amount of negative response this person’s story was receiving from those in the Fibro community. They were saying that she evidently never had Fibro, that exercise can’t help Fibro, and any other negative thing they could think of to discount this person’s success story.

Why do we we so often attack other people’s success?

Why do we feel the need to tear others down in order to feel better? That’s exactly what we are doing when we attack another person’s improvements. We feel so terrible living in chronic pain that when we see someone else find ways to improve their health, we tear them down rather than be happy for them and hopeful that one day we’ll find the treatment plan that will help us have that level of improvement. The reason is that we can’t imagine being successful in that way. We’ve lost hope.

I’ve been there. I was that woman. I could barely get out of bed, and when I did it was to go to the couch. During that time every time I read a story like this I had that same negative response. She didn’t really have Fibro, or that would work for her but not for me. I found some reason to discount something that should have given me hope. I hit rock bottom and thought about ending it, but I didn’t. Instead I decided that it was time to focus on my story and what I wanted that story to look like. I did have a choice and I chose to hope.

I believe that there is a way for all of us to feel better. The combination is likely a little different for each of us  but I believe that some combination of exercise, diet changes, and lifestyle changes can greatly improve the lives of those with Fibromyalgia to the point that they can live again. It may not be exactly the life they had before, but it can come really close, or at least it will feel like it after we’ve hit the bottom.

When I hit the point where I was willing to try anything I looked at all the advice I’d poo-pooed before. All that advice to eat differently -cut out processed foods, gluten, dairy, eggs- to exercise, to  try different supplements, that I’d ignored or discounted before I was finally willing to try it all. And not just a little bit but I went all-in. Because there was no point in just testing the waters only to find out that it wasn’t enough.

For me, taking action meant doing a week-long juice fast to clear out my body of the bad stuff and replace it with good. It meant finding better supplements, it meant exercising regularly, and it meant that when I did start eating whole food again it was whole healthy food minus the processed stuff, minus gluten, dairy, and eggs.

I chose to leave out those specific foods because part of my process included undergoing food sensitivity tests and while I showed a very low sensitivity to those foods, in my opinion any sensitivity could be enough to make me feel worse. Later on when I tried eating those foods again I found that I’d left them out for good reason – they did make me feel worse. In short, I stopped focusing on everyone else’s stories, and I started focusing on my own.

I think it’s important that we share our stories, that’s why I share the Fibro Warrior stories, but I think it’s more important that we support each other and encourage each other to make positive changes. To not give up.

Too often I see posts where people are complaining about getting certain advice (often related to diet, lifestyle, and exercise) and how they are aware of these things and “don’t you think if they worked I’d do them.” Or they say they’ve tried it but it didn’t work, when the reality was they tried it for a week, or a few days. Or, they gave up bread but never considered that gluten (or even wheat) is in so many things.

These attitudes and responses frustrate me because I want to see them succeed. I want to see them feel better. I want us all to be able to share our success stories and get support from each other. I want us to be able to focus on our own personal journey without tearing down others for their journey.

It’s time to write your story. How do you want it to end? You get to choose as this life we have is the greatest choose your own adventure story there is. You can continue to follow the easy path and continue to feel terrible all the while tearing others down that have chosen a different path, or you can choose the difficult path (it is difficult) in hopes of writing a happy ending. Whichever adventure you choose make it your own, and be happy for others as they choose theirs.

So to my friend, who is now afraid to share her own triumphs for fear of a negative response, and to anyone else who has found a way to improve your symptoms and change the direction of your story, please don’t be afraid to share your successes.

I don’t spend a lot of time these days focusing on what I’ve done to turn my symptoms around. I shared that when it happened. I think that we all should. These days I do continue to focus on my story, and continue to try to improve my life and my symptoms. I continue to share where I am on my journey. Current chapters of my story are not focused on changing to feel better, but on maintaining and continuing to do what I’ve learned helps. These days I stay focused on living a positive and happy life. I continue to focus on having a happy ending to my story, and happiness along the way. That’s all any of us can do.