Bidet Done That: Cleaning Up the IBS Mess

If you’d mentioned a bidet to me a year ago, I’d have probably smiled and nodded while thinking “That’s just weird”. Actually, that’s still about what I thought when two of my best friends returned from a European vacation and ordered a bidet for their home toilet. I nodded thinking “yeah, ok. I love you guys, but you’re weird.”. But, being me I had to try it and once I tried it, I was sold.

If you’ve never spent longer wiping poop off your butt than it took you to poop in the first place, you’ll likely never appreciate a good bidet. But, I’d say that all of us at some point have had one of those poops, where the only way you feel clean after is to take a shower. Those of us with IBS, probably have them all too often. At least I know I do. Those times where you feel like you are using a half a roll of toilet paper to clean up the IBS mess are not fun.

Next, I had to convince my husband, which wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I think he was just in a giving spirit and the fact that the bidet attachment was less than $40 on Amazon helped.

Having our friend tell him how easy it was to install helped even more. It wasn’t until after he’d installed it that he was really sold. When I first brought up the idea he said “Ok, but it’s going in the master bathroom.” (Basically, the idea kind of embarrassed him and he didn’t want the public knowing we had a bidet). After he finished installing it he came out of the bathroom commenting “We might need to consider getting a bidet for every bathroom.”

“So, you tried it, huh?”

“yup.”

The best was yet to come. I mean having a nice clean butt after a poop is pretty nice. But, when we headed to CostCo for our semi-annual toilet paper purchase and he let me buy the soft kind. That’s when I knew I’d won.”

I tell you my story only to say, if you constantly deal with the IBS mess, and want to make your life a little simpler and a lot cleaner, get a bidet attachment for your toilet. Yes, it’s weird – at first. But, I promise once you try it you’ll be pissed every time you poop and there’s not a bidet available.

We’ve got the Luxe Bidet Neo 110 . When my friends introduced me to this little device I was curious and a little shy about the whole idea of it. But, I gave it a try and my butt thanked me. So, I convinced my husband to let me buy one for our house. Initially, I could tell he wasn’t planning to use it himself. But, after hooking it up he gave it a try and now he’s just as hooked as I am.

The Neo 100 is their basic model. It doesn’t have warm water hook-up and it only has one nozzle. It has just one dial to control the pressure of the spray. I am perfectly happy at the lowest setting and can’t imagine going higher, but my husband likes a stronger spray.

They have fancier models, like the Neo 185 that I’ve considered purchasing because it has a “female” nozzle, basically a nozzle that sprays a little further forward to help you clean the girly bits. That said I actually use my Neo 110 to clean my girly bits by just leaning forward and scooting back a little bit. There are also higher end models that hook up to your hot water giving you a warm water spray instead of the cold water spray. I’ve heard a few people comment on the cold spray but it was never something that bothered me, so I’d never really thought about a warm spray as a need.

I think a good bidet is one of those “you don’t know what you are missing till you’ve tried it” kind of things. I certainly never would have guessed that I’d be so excited to have water squirt up my butt. But, living with IBS and the joys of wondering if you are going to clog up the toilet with all that paper (and my toilets clog enough without the help) it’s been a huge help. My butt thanks me, my pipes (the house pipes) thank me. Even my husband ended up thanking me.

You can check out the full array of bidet attachments on Amazon.

For what it’s worth, I read the title of this post to Paul before I hit publish and discovered that evidently it was funnier in my head… that happens sometimes.