When life hands you lemons, make lemonade… or so they say.
So many times I’ve watched my friends give up on their dreams for a variety of reasons, often it’s because of their health. I was chatting with a new friend on Twitter the other day when this topic came up. Her husband had brought up the idea that perhaps they should not have children due to her health. That’s one of those logical conversations that only a man would start. It’s a dream that most women who want children will hold onto until it’s plucked from their cold dead hands.
This post was originally written in 2013 (please read on for updates).
Children are not on my list of dreams and it’s a good thing for a lot of reasons. But, I do have dreams. Lately, I’ve been feeling like my health is doing its best to pluck those dreams away, or at least one of them. The dream in question is a degree in Psychology that I’ve been working on for 20 years.
You’d think I’d already given up and perhaps I have a few times. Mostly, it’s just that my attention gets easily diverted. Despite the diversions I always return to this dream and pluck away at it slowly.
When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I had to stop taking classes and I thought my dream was over.
I can’t help feeling sometimes like it’s hopeless. Like, why bother. If I can only take one class at a time, I’ll still be in school when I’m 90 and I may get this degree but will I feel like doing anything with it when I’m done? Then I remember that I am still young and that even if I only take one class at a time I’ll likely still be done by the time I’m 50 (at least). There’s still a chance. And, no I’m not likely to continue on and get a Masters or a PhD and do counseling ,as I’d once intended. But, there are other areas where I can use that degree.
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| via WeHeartIt |
So, what am I saying? I’m saying don’t give up on your dream. I’m saying that to myself and I’m saying that to you. You may have to change your dream a little bit, tweak it to make it work within your limitations, but you don’t have to give it up.
If you’ve always wanted children, ask yourself why. Is it because you love taking care of children? Is it because you want to pass on your values? You want to be a mother? Why? Is there a way you can fulfill your actual dream and desires without actually having children of your own? Perhaps by adopting older children that don’t require quite as much care as a baby would? Perhaps caring for the children of others on the days when you are able to give yourself that opportunity to be around children and have an impact in their growth?
Whatever the dream is, don’t give it up. Change it, tweak it, make it work.
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| via OneMainStreet |
2020 Update:
Despite several stops and starts and mostly limiting myself to two classes a semester, I did finish that degree. I graduated with my Bachelor in 2015, and even made the Dean’s list. I haven’t really done much with that degree. But, I have done a lot with what I learned while obtaining it. I learned how to read medical studies and understand them. I’ve continued to write and share.
These days I’m pursuing a new dream. I’ve always wanted to travel. I always thought that when I retired I’d love to get an RV and see the country. Then I realized that there was literally nothing holding me back from pursuing that dream now. Chronic illness may adjust how I travel, how fast I move, and where I stay. But, it doesn’t have to keep me from traveling. These days I feel pretty good so it’s a good time to pursue this dream. I may never retire, and I don’t know what tomorrow holds, so today is a good day to follow my dreams.
Related Posts:
- You are more than the broken piece of you
- My Chronic Illness Dream
- Facing Fear with Chronic Illness
- How living in an RV with a chronic illness is simplifying my life
Lauren Gaskill | Making Life Sweet says
I LOVE the image at the top of this post. I totally agree with this post. We cannot let chronic illness keep us from going for our dreams. To do so would be to let the illness win.
Julie says
Thanks Lauren! Just took a look at your blog, then added it to my reader. Nice to meet you!
Cindy says
I loved your article about keeping the dream alive despite health issues.
Thank you for all the information, care and understanding you spread.
Take care,
Cindy
Julie says
Thank you for reading.