According to a survey by HealthyWomen, many patients are reluctant to discuss their pain with their doctors. Go Figure. I can’t say I’m surprised.
Chronic Pain Sufferers Reluctant to Discuss Pain with Healthcare Providers
I think many of us can understand why. It seems like we start off willing to explain our pain (or to at least try to) but it’s difficult when doctors ask you to rate it and describe it. How do you describe your pain?
Often trying to explain pain makes no sense. The words we would use seem to make no sense even to us. But, they are what fits. I mean just look at these descriptions we use to describe fibromyalgia. How can someone who doesn’t live with it possibly understand?
Too often we use the wrong words and our definitions don’t match the health care providers definitions for the terms we use. It took me months to discover (on my own, by accident) that what I called a spasm wasn’t what is medically called a spasm, but rather a twitch. How was I to know? Figuring that out went a long way to getting that part of my pain treated.
Then there’s the rating scale. When you live with pain for so long you learn how to turn it off, well not turn it off but ignore it. You tune it out to a large extent (at least I do). So when the Dr asks me to rate it I may only give it a 5/10, which to them isn’t that bad. But, that same level of pain a year ago may have been a 12/10. I think the ability to ignore the pain to some degree is all that keeps some of us sane.
We have other reasons to not talk to our health care providers (or others) about our pain. We get tired of doing so. We get tired of hearing the same things coming out of our mouth. We get tired of feeling like we are doing nothing but complaining.
We get tired of thinking that others think we are just whiners or hypochondriacs.
Early on in my chronic pain journey I really struggled with being open with my doctors about the full scale of my pain. I worried they wouldn’t believe me anyway (and some really didn’t).
Over the years, as my pain has improved I still struggle sometimes. I’m doing well (in comparison) so it has become easy to just say “I’m doing well” and literally forget about my struggles as I sit there in the office.
It’s only when a recurring issue pops back up that I think “oh dang I forgot to talk to my doctor about that.” Ugh.
Early on I often hesitated to go to the Dr when things don’t seem “right” because I feel like it will just be blown off. “She was just here 2 weeks ago with some other issue, she can’t be sick again!” Especially, when it seems like tests always come back negative. So it becomes easy to just blow things off as “just the fibro”.
Even as I’ve improved I am still guilty about delaying doctor visits as long as possible in hopes that whatever I’m dealing with will just go away. Unless it’s a routine visit I’m more likely to wait until I need urgent care than to call the doctor at the first sign of something.
Talking about Pain is Important Though
We do have to talk about it though, especially with our health care providers. And, if we don’t feel like we can talk to certain providers then it may be time to find new ones that we feel we can trust to not judge us. Sometimes, though, it is just us and we have to get over it and not assume that they are judging us.
It’s easy to push the blame off on others. To just say that they won’t care anyway so why bother. But, we have to take responsibility for our medical care, and that means being honest with our doctors.
If the Dr is willing to look into the problems and not just ignore them, then trust them and be open and honest. If they don’t know all of the symptoms then how can they possibly know what to look for?
If the Dr is willing to look into the problems and not just ignore them, then trust them and be open and honest. If they don't know all of the symptoms then how can they possibly know what to look for? Share on X
I often think I’d love to find a Dr House, but even he knows “everyone lies” and realizes that he can’t get all the symptoms from the patient their self. He has to dig.
We should make it easier on our doctors and provide them with as much info as we can. That means doing research and providing them with every bit of info (about our symptoms, pains, etc) that we can.
Even if we don’t think it’s a big deal, they need to know. How else can they give us a real and accurate diagnosis.
Even if we don't think a symptom is a big deal, the doctor need to know. How else can they give us a real and accurate diagnosis. Share on X
What are your thoughts on this? Do you struggle to talk with your doctor about pain? What about with others? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
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Alysha says
I love this post! Thanks Julie. It’s as though you were talking about my life. As a child I was always told to stop whining and complaining so it is very difficult to completely open up.
Julie says
I still have them to some degree, although not severe anymore. Upping my nightly dose of muscle relaxer (Zanaflex) calmed my muscle twitches down majorly. For a while there I felt like I was one giant vibration.
Missy Schranz says
How did you treat your “twitch?” I am very curious because I’m having severe twitches in my hands and jaw and throat. It is distorting my speech. So if you don’t mind telling me, I’d be greatly appreciative. Thank you!!