Counting My Spoons

Inspired Living with Chronic Illness

  • About Julie
    • What’s Helped Me Most
      • ToolKit
      • Vital Plan
      • Oska Pulse
    • Contact Me
    • Work With Me
    • Terms of Service
  • Warriors
  • Coping
    • Tips & Tricks
    • inspiration
  • relationships
    • Fibro and Marriage
    • friendship
  • Conditions
    • Fibromyalgia
      • Fibro Warriors
    • migraine
    • endometriosis
    • Medical Studies
    • Treatment
      • Diet and Nutrition
  • Reading List
  • Toolkit
You are here: Home / Extra Spoons / How Chronic Illness is Like a Marriage

How Chronic Illness is Like a Marriage

Last Updated: May 5, 2021

Welcome! It looks like you might be new here, so I wanted to take a moment to tell you a little about me and my blog. My name is Julie Ryan and I live with Fibromyalgia. I've chosen to live positively, to fight back with diet and lifestyle changes and it's made a huge difference for me. The difference between living all my days in bed, and actually LIVING. I hope you'll keep reading and subscribe to my Newsletter to make sure you don't miss a post. Thanks for visiting!

*BTW, just a heads up that the post below may have affiliate links (some of my posts do).

Welcome back! I'm so glad that you are here again. If you've not already, be sure to subscribe to my Newsletter and I'll update you each time I post (and occasionally I'll send you something special).

Just a heads up that the post below may have affiliate links.

I’ve been thinking about how in a lot of ways chronic illness is kind of like a marriage. This post isn’t as serious as most of my posts, I wanted to have a bit of fun, and take a light-hearted (tongue-in-cheek) look at how chronic illness is like a marriage.

Sometimes we get stuck in relationships we don’t want to be in. I’m pretty sure that for all of us chronic illness is one relationship we don’t want to be in. Chronic illness isn’t like any marriage we want to be in, chronic illness is like a bad marriage that you can never leave.

It’s for life (in theory) – chronic (by definition) means that you are stuck with it for life. Unlike a real marriage, you can’t leave this marriage with chronic illness. You’re stuck. Although, sometimes (if you’re lucky) you can find ways to make it better.

It requires picking your battles. Living with chronic illness requires balance, and constantly trying to figure out when you should say no, when you should say yes, and when you should just walk away.

walk away

It takes work. Just like a relationship or a marriage, it takes work to live with chronic illness. We are constantly having to make choices, make adjustments and learn what will work.

Chronic illness requires an awful lot of work. It's gonna be another long day.

Chances are you will go from dressing up to leave the house, to wearing your pajamas every day. It seems like often in relationships we stop trying to impress. Of course, when it comes to chronic illness we have a whole new reason for staying in our pajamas. Now if all just had a guy like this…

Community: I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie

Sometimes it keeps you up at night. I’ve had partners who snore and keep me awake at night. But, just as often it’s my chronic illness that keeps me awake. It’ll wake me up at night to let me know that it ran over me with a mack truck, or smacked me in the head with a frying pan.

Go to sleep!

Sometimes it leaves you feeling smothered. There are times in every relationship when we just need our space. We’d all like our space from this relationship with chronic illness, but sometimes it seems like the harder we try to get space, the more we get smothered.

Dog smothering cat

Sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and tell it to get out. Granted in most relationship do have the choice to leave, but with chronic illness, we are stuck.

For God's sake, just go away!
I give up

While you don’t want to give up on a relationship, you have no choice in your relationship with chronic illness. We can’t give up. We’ve got to keep going and push through. Hopefully, your relationship treats you better than your chronic illness.

Related articles across the web

  • How to Help Your Chronically Ill Friend Feel Worse
  • Dealing with the “Worse” in “For Better or Worse”
  • The Impact of Chronic Illness on Marriage

5 Comments Filed Under: Extra Spoons, Fibromyalgia, relationships Tagged With: chronic illness, funny

About Julie

Spoonie. Fibro Warrior. E-health advocate.

Julie Ryan was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2010 and endometriosis in 2012. She's lived with chronic migraine most of her life. In 2019 she was diagnosed with inter-cranial hypertension.

Julie has a degree in Psychology, and works as a freelance writer and marketer. Freelance work allows her to work when she can and not be tied to a desk or a schedule. Julie believes in living an inspired life despite chronic illness.

"I have chronic illness, it doesn't have me."

More about Julie

Blog title inspired by The Spoon Theory, by Christine Miserandino, an excellent explanation of what it's like to live with invisible illness.

Comments

  1. Lennae says

    March 26, 2016 at 6:56 pm

    Love your post, I agree that that living with a chronic illness is a lot like marriage too. lol

    Lennae xxx

    Reply
  2. Kayla @ TheEclecticElement says

    March 24, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    I personally love when people do these meme and gif posts! They’re so entertaining and they really do punctuate the point you’re trying to get across 🙂

    I completely agree with this whole thing! I like the comparison between chronic illness and marriage, too. It’s definitely a new way to look at things and I think it may help non-chronically ill people relate to our situations just a little bit more.

    Reply
  3. Jo-D says

    March 23, 2016 at 11:20 am

    Your message, as always, is spot on. However, the moving videos, especially the very rapid ones, plus their proximity within your post, messed with my eyes, seemed contradictory to the sensitivities of FMS as they made me want to look away to protect my eye/brain connection (ie, I avert my face if something similar is on TV b/c it can cause me instant confusion and anxiety), and distracted from my ability to concentrate on the great message contained within. It might work if they’re were less images breaking up the text, maybe one or two; or if you used stationary pix with clever captions.

    Thanks for asking for feedback- your willingness to do so is appreciated.

    Jo-D

    Reply
    • Julie says

      March 23, 2016 at 11:47 am

      Jo-D,

      Ya know, I’m really glad you commented. What you posted is exactly the reason I’ve avoided trying to do one of these in the past. They are fun but I often find myself having the same issues with posts on other sites that have the animated gifs. They are cute but they can be difficult to look at, especially when there are multiples of them.

      Julie

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Julie

Spoonie. Fibro Warrior. E-health advocate.

Julie Ryan was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2010 and endometriosis in 2012. She's lived with chronic migraine most of her life. In 2019 she was diagnosed with inter-cranial hypertension.

Julie has a degree in Psychology, and works as a freelance writer and marketer. Freelance work allows her to work when she can and not be tied to a desk or a schedule. Julie believes in living an inspired life despite chronic illness.

"I have chronic illness, it doesn't have me."

More about Julie

Blog title inspired by The Spoon Theory, by Christine Miserandino, an excellent explanation of what it's like to live with invisible illness. Read More…

Disclaimer:

I am not a doctor. I do not claim to be a doctor. I do not play a doctor on TV or the internet. I simply share my experiences and what has worked for me. We are all different and before you try any new treatment, exercise, supplement, etc you should talk with your doctor (the real one, not the one on TV).

Common Tags

abdominal pain acceptance alternative therapies anxiety asking for help book review books brain fog cbd oil chronic fatigue chronic illness chronic pain communication dairy-free dealing with doctors decreasing pain decreasing stress depression diagnosis diet doctors documentary family feeling better flares food sensitivities gifts health holidays ibs interviews mental health oska pacing pain relief product review review self-compassion sensitivities sleep sleep aids stress sunday inspiration support travel

Copyright

All content copyright CountingMySpoons Any content reblogged from this site must adhere to the terms of © Copyright and TOS
That page states in part: "A brief excerpt of content that does not exceed 75 words may be quoted as long as a link is provided back to the source page on this blog and authorship is properly attributed."

Proudly Hosted By:

Wordpress Hosting Done Right

Proud To Be Included

 

Chronic Illness Bloggers
 

Privacy Policy

Counting My Spoons respects your privacy. Your information will never be provided to any third party unless you provide explicit permission to do so (something I'm not likely to ever ask you to do).

Read full privacy policy

Content Copyright © 2025 - Webz Plus Inc