What you need to know if you live with chronic illness
Chronic pain and fatigue can really wear you down, whether it’s fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, lupus, or something else. Living in chronic pain can tear at your soul, it can make you feel worthless, and unworthy, but you are not. As I’ve talked with many chronic illness warriors there are a few thoughts that I feel like we all need to know.
1. You are Good Enough – It seems like no matter how hard we try, those of us with chronic illness constantly struggle to believe we are good enough. No matter how hard we try, we think we are not good enough. But, we are good enough and simply, we are enough. As Stuart Smalley would say “you are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone it people like you”. Stop focusing on what you aren’t able to accomplish and think about all the amazing things you are doing despite your illness. You are not just good enough. You are amazing!
Stop focusing on what you can't do and think about all the amazing things you are still doing Share on X2. You can overcome this! – It’s easy to let chronic illness bury you, to decide that it’s not worth fighting and to just give up. But, you can overcome this. You may be stuck with chronic illness for life, unable to control the pain or the fatigue, but you can control your response. You can make choices that can limit your symptoms. You can choose to avoid things that would tear you down and make you feel worse. You can choose to be happy despite the pain and illness.
#Spoonie You can choose to be happy despite the pain and illness. Share on X3. You are not to blame for your illness – But, you are responsible for your health. Educate yourself about your diagnoses and look for treatments beyond what your doctor offers. You are not responsible for your illness, you didn’t cause it, and you certainly don’t deserve it, but you do still have some control. You can choose to either just follow along and take whatever treatments are given, or you can become an informed patient and seek out the best treatments for you. Stop trying to take responsibility for things outside of your control, and take control of the things you can.
Stop trying to take responsibility for things outside of your control, and take control of the things you can. Share on X4. You need to keep living! – Keep feeding your passions and find new ones. Find reasons to keep fighting. I’ve talked with so many Spoonies who have found new passions after they became ill. They discovered things that they never thought to even try but when they found themselves limited by chronic illness they tried something different – they picked up a camera, they tried digital painting, they took up knitting, they started a blog – and now they not only have something new they enjoy, but in many cases they’ve found ways to turn those hobbies into an income stream. You aren’t done yet, you just have to find the new direction.
5. You can control how others treat you – How others treat you is within your control. When people treat you poorly you can walk away. You can set boundaries with those around you, even those closest to you. It’s not easy, especially when you are dealing with people you live with or see every day, but it’s never too late to let others know what you will tolerate, and to stop tolerating those who would overstep your boundaries.
6. You still have something to give – When we feel we have nothing left to give, it often becomes easiest to imagine just letting go. Too often, our identities are wrapped up in what we do, how we make a living, and the life roles we take on, rather than in who we really are. When chronic illness shows up and makes maintaining those roles difficult, it’s often hard to separate yourself from who you were. Even if you can’t do the things you used to do, you still have much to give. Even if it’s nothing more than a smile, a kind word, or an ear to listen. You have something to give.
It may feel like everything has been taken by chronic illness, but you still have much to give Share on XCoping with chronic illness is a constant struggle. It’s a learning process. Not only do we have to learn how to manage the symptoms that come with the illness, but we have to learn how to cope with the unavoidable life changes and status changes that come with those illnesses.
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Julie Greenwood says
You have no idea how much I needed this right now! When I’m dealing with flares of my psoriatic arthritis pain, it is sometimes hard to see how to see how I can make a difference moving forward. Thank you for posting this!
Julie says
You’ve got this. I hope the flare passes soon.