4 Ways I’ve stopped giving away my energy

Energy – that thing that those of us with chronic illness fight to have enough of. Yet, I’ve found lately that I have more and more of it. Why? Because I’ve stopped giving away so much energy for no return.

How have I gotten my energy back? It’s not been easy, and it’s a struggle, but the struggle to have energy is far less of a struggle than the invisible war I was waging against myself before, a war I had no idea I was even waging. I had no idea I’d been giving my energy away bit by bit, allowing others, and life itself, to just steal it. But, no more.

1. I’m working hard to live and be my authentic self – do you have any idea how much energy you give away when you are struggling against being the real you. Do you have some piece of yourself that you feel others won’t accept so you bury it deep? Do you have hopes and dreams that others say can’t happen so you just give up trying?

That’s how it’s been for me. I realized recently that I’d given myself up, piece by piece. The adage “it’s better to be happy than right” only works if you actually end up happy. However, if you are choosing to give up the real you, in order to make others happy, you are neither right nor happy. That’s where I found myself. Choosing to stop allowing that to happen and to start living as ME, has freed me in such an intense way.

2. I’m no longer pretending that everything is OK – This follows along with the above… it’s too easy to just flow through life pretending that everything is OK in hopes of keeping others happy and calm. But, doing so means that you bury the truth deep inside you.

Deep inside, I’ve known that everything isn’t OK, but I kept pushing forward hoping that maybe things would be OK eventually. When I finally acknowledged that I wasn’t happy with the way things were, I was able to make changes. The freedom I gained from just acknowledging where I was at, was immense.

3. I’m no longer allowing myself to stagnate – For too long I resisted change. Sure, I made some huge changes within my diet and lifestyle in order to feel better. But, there were other changes I resisted, allowing myself to fall into a rut, doing the same things day after day without asking where those things were taking me. Instead, I’m choosing to move, to do things, so that I can’t become stagnant. There are too many things I’ve not done for me to give up on life and accept that the place I am is where I will always be.

4. I’m no longer taking things personally – or, at least I’m trying not to. It’s hard sometimes, and I find that the closer I am to people the easier it is to take their actions personally.

The reality is that it’s not me, it’s them. Chances are their actions have nothing to do with me, and if I think they do, I need to ask the question rather than just assume they meant it in some ill way that I’ve perceived.

This one thing seems so simple but it is probably the thing I struggle with the most. Just when I think I’ve gotten good at not taking things personally, something happens and I’m right there again. It’s so hard to assess things in the moment. And, of course, my own feelings (physical and emotional) play a role into how I perceive the actions of others.

This is a work in progress, as is life. But, it’s a work that I’ve been taking major steps towards in the last few months. I just hope I can continue to move in the right direction and continue to see my energy levels improve, and my pain levels decrease.

Related Posts:

• Avoiding the Energy Vampires
• 10 Ways to keep Chronic Illness from stealing your life
• 6 Things I Focus on When Dealing with Energy Vampires
• Tips for Pacing When You Have Chronic Illness