Handling Negative People

Negative people are everywhere. There are those that will find the negatives in any idea, the “yeah but” people, and those who just can’t seem to win for their own fear. It’s that last group that gets my goat the worst. I’ve always been a “make it work” kind of person. If you tell me a problem I’m going to give you five ways you might be able to fix it. Can’t find a job? How about freelancing? Having trouble with a class? Talk to the professor. Get a tutor.

Just do something!

When it comes to living with chronic illness, there are a million and one answers for how we might be able to improve our situation. And the actual answer (if there is one) is going to be different for everyone, but the one thing we can’t do is give up on trying to find that one answer (or the many answers that will work together – which is more likely the case).

What we can’t do along the way is get bogged down in the “why it won’t work”. Nor, can we allow others to bog us down. That’s where this post on Huffington Post and the advice of the wise Steve Harvey on handling negative people comes into play.

So, what do you do when someone comes back at you with the “yeah buts” and the million reasons why something won’t work? You simply say “ok thanks for your input” and walk away. End the conversation and move on.

I found myself in a one of these conversations recently with a young guy. It had nothing to do with health and everything to do with his potential for employment. He told me his sad story of getting his bachelors degree only to find no opportunities. He’d had low grades in college because he’d had to focus on work. Then his opportunities had been low because someone else shared his name and likely got all of his interviews. He talked about a skill set and I encouraged him to use said skill set, to freelance, to look at Fiverr, etc. To everything I said he had a reason why it wouldn’t work. Then the kicker “but that’s not what my degree is in… I want do X”. Who cares what your degree is in? These days very few people end up working in the field their degree is in. You use the skills you have and you combine that with a degree (if you have one) and you get work. As Dave Ramsey would say you go out and you kill something and you bring it home. In the end I had to just say “nice to meet you” and walk away from that conversation before it completely stressed me out.

But, I have conversations like this with others who are ill all the time. I find that conversations at support group meetings often go this way. Early on when I began to recover I was preaching from the mountains about going gluten-free and how it helped me. These days I still feel like it’s worthwhile for anyone to try, but that’s not my focus. My focus these days is TRY ANYTHING! Or, at least be willing to. Yes, you should do due diligence and I’m not suggesting that you jump on any scam that crosses your path. But, there are lots of honest treatments out there and some combination of those treatments might be just what works for you.

Just do it! Just be willing to try anything – that’s all I’m asking. Instead of shooting down every possibility ask yourself honestly “why shouldn’t I try it? Why not?” Is there a really good reason? What’s the risk of trying it? Is the risk of trying something new (and the potential that it might help) greater than the risk of doing nothing and staying right where you are?

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