Time to stop surviving

I died at the age of 34. I was dead for three years but no one buried me. I’m thankful for that, because at the age of 37 I came back to life. Too often we spend our lives just surviving, just waiting for tomorrow. It’s time to stop surviving and start living.

My friend Jessica over at NoOneGetsFlowersForChronicPain often inspires me. If you don’t read her blog I can’t stress to you how much you should. I’d suggest starting with this great post on the difference between Living and Surviving.

She included a great quote from Benjamin Franklin

“Some people die at the age of twenty-five but are not buried until age seventy-five.”

Many of us spend our lives just barely surviving at best, even without chronic illness getting in the way. We just go through the motions hoping to make it to the next day and hoping that something will finally happen in our lives so that we can enjoy it. For many of us it’s retirement we look forward to, we hope that one day we’ll finally be able to stop working to survive and we can retire and start living. Why do we do this? Why do we wait to live?

Chronic illness makes it even more difficult because we know our illness is never going away and with that knowledge comes the belief that things will never get better so all we can do is just try to survive as best we can. But, we can do better than that. We can LIVE with chronic illness and we can still live well, even if you can’t get out of bed.

The key to living instead of surviving is looking for the small things that surround us, the small things that make us happy, that bring us joy. The smile from someone we love, the flower blooming outside our window, the birds at the feeder. Even if you live your life looking out a window there are ways to enjoy that life. Have someone put up a bird feeder and plant some flowers that you can enjoy. Find great books to read and continue to learn – learn about life, learn about your illness, learn about yourself. Find great shows to watch that make you smile and laugh. Find great people to talk to whether it’s in person, on the phone, or online. As someone recently reminded me on Facebook, it’s never too late to make new friends.

And, for those of us that can get out and do things we have no excuses at all. We should keep our eyes open for small ways to live. Drive a road you’ve never been down. Look for new things to try. I’ve been amazed lately at the number of things in my own town that I’ve never known about. I’m making a bucket list of things to do right here without leaving the area. Some are things I’ve said for years I want to do, others I never knew existed. Smile at people you see, not only do they probably need it, but so do you. The science is there, the more you smile the better you feel.

A positive mental attitude will not heal us, but it can make all the difference between just surviving with chronic illness and living with it.