Hey Doctor, remember me? I’m the one you dismissed. You said I was faking it or it was all in my head. Well, guess what… you were wrong.
We’ve all been there at least once with a dismissive doctor and oh how we long to be able to go back to them the way that Dorothy did on Golden Girls.
This Golden Girls scene is EPIC! and should be seen by anyone with an invisible illness who has ever dealt with dismissive doctors. This is what so many of us long to say to at least one doctor we’ve dealt with, and too often to several doctors we’ve had to deal with during our journey through the land of invisible illness, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, etc.
A BIG Thank you to Chris aka @ChronicPainDad for sharing this on Twitter.
While I’ll admit there are some doctors who lack compassion but make up for it in their dogedness and willingness to do anything to find an answer, too often a lack of compassion results in a dismissive doctor, willing to just either eject you as you a hypochondriac or who does nothing but throws a pill at you, without any real concern for you or your well-being.
Dorothy approaches Dr. Bud
“You probably don’t remember me but you told me I wasn’t sick. you remember? You told me I was just getting old?”
Dr. Bud: “Sorry I really don’t…”
“Remember? Maybe you’re just getting old. Well, I really am sick. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It’s a real illness. You can check with the CDC.”The scene only gets better from there as Dorothy lays into Dr. Bud for his dismissive attitude. How many times have we wanted to do that? And, yet how many times have we walked away without confronting a doctor (or someone else) for their dismissive attitude.
We came to you sick and scared, and you dismissed us. We are not crazy, we are sick. Share on X
Related Posts:
- Women: Often “Miss Treated” By Doctors
- Are Doctors Biased Against Patients?j
- The Slow Death of Compassion For the Chronically Ill
- 4 Good Reasons to Change Doctors
Janet Komanchuk says
I believe that most of us who have painful, chronic, debilitating diseases have dealt with doctors whose offices are revolving doors—in and out as quickly as possible. After experiencing too many of THEM to remember, I was extremely fortunate to meet Dr. V. He knew I was in pain instead of malingering and searching for opiates. He never made me feel, less than, as so many of his predecessors had. He didn’t have a sign on his wall that read, “Only one issue per visit.” Anyone who knows anything about fibromyalgia or a host of other diseases, knows that they present a myriad of symptoms and issues, not just one.
Dr. V. listened patiently to me, readily adjusted the dosage or changed medications that weren’t working. He would suggest something new that he had researched, another round of acupuncture, a leave of absence because I could no longer navigate the hallways, remember my students names… And when that didn’t help and I could barely move or concentrate and the pain was unbearable, he suggested and supported my claim for disability. He offered referrals, to another rheumatologist, a neurosurgeon, a sleep lab… He suggested tapping and told me about a workshop he was attending, self hypnosis, anything and everything he could think of. I eagerly tried them all until there was nothing left to try.
Then when my uncle recommended, the unique mind/body spirit wellness work of Joy of Healing founders, Tamara and Andrew Overlee, that had helped him and his family and friends with all manner of issues, Dr. V. didn’t scoff.
When I reported to him after my first visit, Dr. V. listened as I told him about how Joy of Healing helped me to identify and resolve the numerous unresolved issues in my life that were helping to make me so very ill. He listened when I told him about modifying my diet to better suit my body’s needs by eliminating sugar, dairy, wheat and as many processed foods as possible, juicing vegetables, starting to exercise in the water, so much easier on my tender joints and muscles
When I came back to him after more visits, counsel, and energy work with Joy of Healing and told him I had invited the Overlees to come to my home town to offer classes and individual sessions Dr. V. booked an appointment for himself. As he left his session he told Tamara, if they were to help all of his patients as he’d helped me he would be out of work.
When I was no longer in pain, able to concentrate and function again I asked Dr. V. to stop prescribing medications, and to support me in cancelling my disability for I was no longer disabled. So grateful to be in remission, pain and prescription free thanks to my dear friends the Overlees. I’m grateful to have my life back, renewed and full. And I am grateful to have found Dr. V. who truly listened and did not tell me my problems were a woman thing, all in my head, as other physicians had.
Whatever your issues, never give up in your quest for wellness. Research and trust your intuition to guide you to whatever healing modality, be it complementary, alternative, or medical, that helps you.
Claire says
Loved it! Wish I could stand up and say that!
Julie says
There are times when we should.
Susie says
I am so glad you posted this. It is so true. I had a pain specialist look at my stomach, smirk, and then tell me to work on my core. Guess what. He was right. I did need to work on my core. He was wrong in the way he told me. He humiliated me and I would love to let him know that. Maybe that’s what I need to do. Let him know that if he had said what he did with a little compassion instead of disgust, I might have listened.
Julie says
You said it Susie. Too often people forget that HOW you say something is often more important than what you say. If you say it the wrong way you are better off to not have said it.