Each week I enjoy sharing some of the blogs that have really caught my attention and inspired me in some way or another.
” Everyone you meet on the street or are extremely close to is battling something you may have no idea about. Often times I find myself worrying why a friend or family member is angry with me because he or she is acting “off” when in reality they are dealing with their own crap and it has nothing to do with me. “ – No One Gets Flowers For Chronic Pain
This week one of the big messages that has gotten through to me, came not just from blogs but from my Psych class, it’s the idea that “it’s not all about me”. We all know this that it’s not all about “me”. Yet, we constantly make things about us anyway. When a friend cancels plans or says something “off”, when a stranger frowns at us or cuts us off in traffic, we personalize it as if that person did whatever they did specifically TO us. “What did I do?” we ask ourselves to deserve that type of action or response. Hey jerk! Watch out for ME! When the reality is that it’s not about us. That guy who cut us off has other things on his mind. Your friend cancelling had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the bad day they were having.
” Rather than focus on your pain, focus on one positive thing, one beautiful thing. Let that feeling fill up you, even if it is a distraction for just a moment – that is your moment of pain free life. When you practice this, those moments grow one by one.” – Living Fully No Matter What
Distraction is one of the best forms of pain relief.Whether it’s focusing on someone you love, or doing something you love, simply taking your mind off yourself, takes your mind off the pain. There it is again – You feel better when you remember that it’s not all about you.
” Giving up means I accept that I cannot do everything perfectly, and I forgive myself for not getting it right every time.” – FibroSmart
Forgiving ourselves and realizing that we don’t have to be perfect, letting go of those Type A personality flaws make such a big difference. It’s not easy, not in any way, but it makes a huge difference when we finally learn to LET GO!
” My limitations are not the same as my friends’, or yours, or the person who sits next to me on the train, but we all have limitations nonetheless. Trying to pretend otherwise won’t do us any good and it may do us a whole lot of harm.” – ChronicRants
It’s so easy to sit around and judge others, to think that our pain is worse than anyone else’s or that someone else isn’t trying as hard. When we do that we are again focusing on ourselves instead of on others. When we see others, we need to take a moment and think about how they may be hurting and what their limitations may be. Just because they look totally healthy doesn’t mean they don’t need that handicapped parking space. Heck, maybe they look healthy and they don’t need that space, but the person they are picking up is a different story.
Everyone has their own story to tell. When we stop getting so focused on our own we can look around the world and learn so much from others. It’s not all about you, in fact it’s not about you at all, except in so much as it’s about what you can do to help others.
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