I’ve posted over 100 Fibro Warrior Interviews and as different as they are, one thing almost all of them have in common is that when asked what they’ve learned about themselves from fibromyalgia, the answer is almost always “I’m stronger than I ever thought I was.”
Well, sometimes it gets tiring having to be strong.
On Facebook I saw a comment that a friend posted “Sometimes the one who seems the strongest is the one who is in the most need of a hug. ★.”
How absolutely true is that.
Elsewhere I had a discussion with someone about how it seems like often the ones who are sick are often the ones who are expected to be the strongest. We have to stay strong for those around us because they are so busy cracking under the pressure.
We have to put on the brave face and the smile when all we really want is a break, a moment to break down, a hug, someone to tell us “It’s all going to be ok”. But, instead, we are having to tell everyone else that everything will be OK, even when we aren’t sure we really believe it ourselves.
It gets tiring always putting on a brave face and being the strong one. Sometimes I just want to break down and have someone hug me and tell me it'll be OK (even if it isn't true). Share on XSometimes, I think, saying it so much for others helps us begin to believe it ourselves. Staying strong for others helps us …well… stay strong. Once we finally get that permission to break down, sometimes it can be really hard to pick the pieces up and put them back together again.
It’s almost like in telling everyone else that it’ll be OK, for their benefit, it eventually becomes a mantra for ourselves. Something we can come to believe in and hold onto.
The problem with appearing so strong is that other people often start believing it and they forget that we really do need them. That we need those hugs, and an ear to listen, that we need our friends and loved ones and all they have to give.
We’ve gotten so busy being the ones doing all the giving and being strong, that those around us have gotten used to being weak and take take take without remembering that we need things in return.
We shouldn’t go in the opposite direction to the point where it’s all about us, but there has to be a balance. Everyone should get their turn to break down, and there should always be someone else standing by to help them put the pieces together.
Sometimes you have to show some weakness so that those who love you don’t forget you need them, too.
Sometimes you have to show some weakness so that those who love you don't forget you need them, too. Share on XRelated Posts:
- Things you should say to someone with chronic illness
- Things you should NEVER say to someone with chronic illness
- An open letter to caregivers
- 4 Things about chronic illness my family needed to know
Anonymous says
I think this will be my reflection of the day.
I liked the parts: “Once we finally get that permission to break down, sometimes it can be really hard to pick the pieces up and put them back together again. It’s almost like in saying it for everyone else it eventually becomes a mantra for ourselves.”
“On the other side of the coin, sometimes you have to show some weakness so that those who love you don’t forget you need too.”
Patters once started are so hard to break. Start young. It takes “Old Trees” longer to bend. And yes, there has to be a balance.
Well said.
Carol G.